Alana

What's up, everyone? I know it's been taking me a while to put my thing up...but I've been taking my sweet time with it. (Or just procrastinating because of the other things I have to do...) Anyway, my name is Alana Losoya. I love music and chocolate. I play guitar and I sing at my church. I love it.

I'm originally from Texas, but my family moved to California on a whim. My mom is an inspirational author, and my dad is in TV. Things are really taking off in their lives, and I'm so proud of them!! Along with my family...my aunt, uncle and cousins moved here with us too. They got involved with a church here in the same city....so that's cool.

My cousin and I are both REAALLY musically inclined. He's a little more talented than I am...he taught himself guitar AND piano....and he's also learning the banjo....he's insane. We immediately got pulled into the worship team at my new church. We even made some cool, new friends at the same time! It's been cool hanging with these awesome people! It's really something I've never had. Friends have never been something that I can say that I have always easily kept.

The people in my life always come and go. Some of them I outgrow...some of them outgrow me. Some of them I have to stay away from. Some of them move away. Some of them I have to take care of constantly. Some of them only put me down, and some of them only want my praise. Ugh, people are too much sometimes.

I'm not one to stay quiet...if someone is doing something wrong, or doing wrong to me....I will defend myself. If need be, I will defend God. Nothing makes me more irritated at people who just don't get it. Things are clearly wrong, and yet they still continue to do it. Now, I'm no super religious fanatic or anything, but you know...you don't have to believe in the Bible to know the difference between right and wrong. If you don't believe in God, you still get offended when people lie to you, right? You still get mad when people call you stupid, right?

Of course, I'm not one to talk...I'm not perfect either. However, it still frustrates me. I had a friend who would always lie to me. She'd always say she'd go with me to whatever (a concert, event, lunch, dinner..etc.) and then she'd not follow through. She'd always say she was busy, or had other plans she apparently didn't remember until that day, or that she fell asleep...or whatever lame excuse she had. It was clear that she was lying....and she'd even say she'd make it up to me...and I have yet to see anything from her. I got so stressed, so I had to break that friendship. Not because I hated her, I love her...but she clearly didn't love me. How hard is it to say, "Sorry, I can't." or "I have plans." It's not like it would have hurt my feelings or anything. Why make a promise you can't keep?

I had another friend that wasn't as committed to the Christian walk as I was. I mean, he was a fun guy, but he'd invite me to parties where BAD stuff was going on. Underage drinking, possibly drugs, and a lot of sexual stuff. He'd talk about his sex life A LOT. You know, nothing against him...but this is a guy who went to church with me...him and his girlfriend. They'd act like good Christians at church, and then be completely different people throughout the week. My friend asked my cousin Izzy to be his accountability partner...and it didn't go very well. He'd mess up ALL the time...and I understood the first couple of times, but after several months of messing up it became obvious that he didn't intend to stop no matter how many times my cousin tried to keep his motivation. Of course, we all lost touch eventually...he just didn't want to see us disappointed I guess.

Sometimes I wonder why do I have to go through these people problems? It's not my fault they leave...they leave because they don't want to hear the truth. All the other people I know seem to have a great circle of friends, and they've known them for YEARS. I'm lucky if I have one consistent friend for a FEW MONTHS. It's frustrating. I mean, aren't friends supposed to care about each other, even when they don't agree on things? Aren't Christian friends supposed to help each other build their character? It's like...people leave right as soon as conflict arises. It's not like conflict can't be resolved.

Well, even though these things really confuse me at times, God always reminds me that He is in control...not me. He is the ultimate judge, not me. When people turn away from me, they also turn away from God, because God lives in me. I think that's something everyone needs to be reminded of every now and then. Jesus suffered from rejection too, BIG TIME. People who once praised Him and greeted him with palm branches later all ganged up on Him and demanded for Him to be beaten and nailed on a cross. Even Jesus' closest followers were nowhere to be found that night. I can only imagine how heartbroken He must have felt. It makes all the rejection in my life seem like nothing.

Even though the stuff I've faced with people hurt...it didn't last forever. Like all friendships end, hard times and sadness will also end. Now, I have about 4 new friends, and they accept me for who I am. I know that this was no coincidence. The Lord brought me here to California, and gave me a new start...with new friends. All I can say is that I am so so blessed!

Ron

Hey everyone! First things first, I'm Ron Martinez, and I am very excited to be here telling my story today. A few things about me: I like to run, I'm an aspiring minister, and I own every Needtobreathe song ever created. I'm 17, and I'm a junior at Lincoln High School. My ultimate goal is to go to seminary somewhere....still haven't figured out where yet. God will open doors for sure, no doubt about it.

Currently, I am very involved in my youth ministry. It's cool how our church has the students practically run the service. Through that, I think that a ton of young people, like myself, have learned lots of things about how dynamic ministry is. My favorite part about it is running the media presentations, especially experimenting with new backgrounds and motion graphics. It's SO COOL!

One could definitely say that I am super involved...and that's definitely true. You gotta keep busy, it gets you places. Through my involvement at church, I've landed so many cool opportunities that will ultimately help me get to my goal. Also, I've seen God do incredible things within the congregation. I love seeing people encounter Him, let alone come to Him. It's so great!

The downside to being on-the-go all the time is that I tend to get a tad bit overwhelmed at all the stuff I have to get done. I always come through one way or another...but it's cost me...being taken to the emergency room for severe fatigue being one thing. It's a funny story, really. Another downside is that I literally have to plan time for friends, and I feel sometimes that it's not fair to them. How can you really distinguish what is more important? It's like fellowship vs. me. I admit that selfishness may be something that I do wrestle with a bit. I'm not being intentional with it, it's just that sometimes I come off as neglectful. In all reality, I love all my really good friends. One person in particular, my main brother, Yani. He's been in my life since I was a really little kid. We've always been friends, and I'm happy to say that now he's a fellow believer. It's something I'd been praying would happen for years. As the years have gone by, our lives are very different. Yani works part time at a diner, and does school. I on the other hand have leadership meetings, run the media every other week, prayer team, national honor society on Wednesday afternoons, all on top of homework...I use whatever spare time to read. I occasionally squeeze some friend time if there is any. Luckily Yani understands my craziness....least I hope he does.

Sometimes my friends say I need to slow down, and maybe they're right. I just can't stand being stagnant. This work will pay off one day. It still makes me feel bad that the people in my life don't get much of my sincere attention that they rightfully deserve. Maybe this next year I'll hold back on the crazy things that eat up valuable time. I'm sure nobody will mind. It's only high school after all, and by the end of next year...we'll all be in college. Who knows how often I'll get to see them afterwards?

So, this is kind of a challenge; not only to myself, but to anyone reading this. Don't take anyone in your life for granted. No matter how crazy your life is, make time for people. I know I am not a perfect example of this, but I'm learning how to be. Thanks for reading, guys! Talk to your friends today!

Lauren

Hey guys! How's it going? My name is Lauren Flores (had to use my last name...just to make this a little more formal...) I'm so bad at blogging, so if any of this sounds a little messy....sorry.

Anyway, so here's a little bit about me. I'm addicted to coffee. I love to talk, laugh, and sing. I'm a very loud person, and I admit I can be a little bit annoying. I've always been that way for as long as I can remember. I was that kid that had to be separated from everyone in the class because I talked to EVERYONE in sight. So yeah, I'm a big socializer. Oh dear Lord, I'm using the word "I" a lot....so sorry. I'm not full of myself, I promise.

So....what else can I talk about? Oh, I love to sing. I play guitar and piano and I play a ton of my favorite songs all the time. Of course, I sing at church. It's lots of fun, and I've made so many cool friends. I have a lot of friends...not really bragging though. Having a lot of friends is both a good and a bad thing. I'll explain why.

See, everyone always comes up to me and says, "Oh you're so popular...blah blah blah..." People always think that their lives will be much more fun if they had more friends. However, in my case, there are times where I wish people didn't know me. Not really because I hate people...I love people. I just sometimes regret the fact that I met certain people, because of how different they are from me. See, I've always been taught that as a Christian I am supposed to "stand out" and "be in good company." You know, stuff like that. I feel like I've done that. I have a ton of friends at my church, and they've never hurt me. I know some people feel that church folks can be real mean sometimes, and that's definitely true....and I'm trying to change that by the way I treat others.

I've also been taught that as a Christian, I have to "go out into all the world" or "go beyond the 4 walls of the church." You know, step out of my comfort zone. Here's where it gets tricky...see...the friends I have that don't believe what I believe always invite me to go to parties and stuff like that. I admit....I go. It's fun! However, after I leave...I feel this thing inside of me that says that I shouldn't have gone...and I know that I shouldn't have. I know that whenever I go to these places, I don't stand out....I blend right in, but I'm not hurting anyone. I'm not going and judging them, you know? Plus, what's wrong with having friends right?

Well, at one point in my life...very recently actually...my party situation got worse. I began skipping my church duties on the worship team, and I also began drinking and doing things I never thought I'd do. Long story short, I ended up getting taken off of the worship team until I got myself together. Though I wasn't hurting anyone...I knew deep down inside that being with others that are not edifying me to do the right thing was wrong. I was so wrong. Sin, is sometimes so much fun, but it is wrong. My really good friend, Ron, called me out on this and honestly it made me feel bad...but he was right. That's kind of how it feels when God convicts you. It hurts, but you know that it needs to happen.

I beat myself up for a few weeks over the crappy choices I made. I thought there was no way I could come back. My other good friend, Yani, talked to me and it was another side of God's correction. Yani is a new Christian. He's someone who's seen more of the darkness, and never wants to go back. I've been in the light for so long, that sometimes I'm curious about what the "darkness" is like. Don't ever say you've never thought about it...I'm being real here. What Yani told me was that if God forgave him when he was at his absolute worst, why would I think that He won't do the same for me? He said that if God handled grace the way humans would, He'd probably forgive me with no hesitance, and He'd think about forgiving him. But that's not how God is. He forgives both of us in the same way. Yani struggles with his past, just like I struggle with my people-pleasing self....yet God doesn't hate us for it. In fact, He wants us to talk to Him about it. I was afraid to talk to Him, so I ran and hid from Him (familiar story?)

I'm back onstage now at church. I'm still my social self, but I'm learning the power of the word "no." That word is so small, but it has so much power. I'm not staying away from the parties because I'm religious, it's just because I know even more now that I cannot get too complacent. This faith is not a wishy-washy faith, and I'm not going to walk the fence my entire life. It's hard, don't get me wrong, but I'm not afraid to face God anymore when I get tempted. Whatever your struggle may be (drinking, pornography, sexual stuff, anger, whatever), talk to God...He's always listening. He doesn't hate you. People may laugh at you in your weakness, but God will only love on you.

In the words of my favorite band (Fireflight <33333) "I'm not what I have done, I'm what I've overcome."

Yani

Hey guys! So, I'm honored to be the first one to post on this blog...this is the first time I've ever been first for anything in my life. My name is Yani Caruso, and I just turned 17 last month. I love good pizza and running...weird right? My best friend's name is Ron, and he lives right down the street from me.

My family is kind of strange so to say. I have an older sister, Megan, who is a grad student at CalArts. She's like, 26 and I almost never see her anymore. My parents are both successful real estate agents, they have a ton of money. However, they could care less about where I end up. All of my kid life, they've been fighting. Last year, right after my 16th birthday, they finally decided to split up. Even though I saw it coming by a long shot...I didn't think it would bother me as much as it did. My whole life, it was always my mom and dad...now it was just my mom. It was not the same at all. When that happened, I had hit the top of a huge depression cycle, which had begun since the very first argument I ever heard from my parents. Little did I know that it had taken a toll on who I was growing up to be.

Ever since I can remember, I was always kind of sad...but I hid behind a huge smile. I could smile around my friends, but when I was at home I sat alone and questioned why I had been cursed with this awful life. It made me sick to see others smile. My day was ruined whenever I saw someone's mom come and pick someone up from school, or whenever I saw other families enjoying dinner at In-N-Out when I sat alone. I never had family fun like that. We went on vacations...but I did other things while my parents did their thing. They gave me $250 bucks and they just said, "Have fun."

You'd think that's awesome, and I must admit...I had fun. I made a ton of friends everywhere we went. What bothered me was whenever we got back home, I was back in that depression. The fun never lasted. I was back to being angry at a smiling world.

The one person's smile who got on my nerves the most was of my best friend Ron. He was always happy...and it pissed me off. He's always had a perfect life. He never got in trouble for anything, he always had good grades, and he never went to parties...he was always at church. We'd run and play video games, then he'd go to church. I always wondered why he went to church. Why did it make him so happy? What was he doing to make this God love him more than He loved me?

I was mad at God. I literally thought He was done with me. When I turned 16, I went on this huge rebellious phase (that was very short-lived). I left my mom home alone and went to parties on weekends. I spent most week nights with Christina, the girl next door. Her parents were divorced almost all her life, so she kind of related to me. However, even though I thought I found some connection with her...I knew that she was using me just like I was using her. Most guys my age won't admit that.

I knew that I just wanted to stop being so mad at the world. I wanted to remember what it was like to smile. So...the following weekend, I missed a party and went to a church thing that Ron kept annoyingly inviting me to. When I got there...I sank into the very back row, and the pastor said something I'd never forget. He said something about God always being with us. Through everything. Even though we can't feel Him, He's there, and He knows us by name. That blew my mind. I always thought God was some type of mean, angry man who only loved perfect people like Ron. I didn't know that He'd care about me so much to even know my name. At the end of the sermon, he invited people to come and talk to God. Of course I went, and I'll never forget the look on Ron's face when he prayed for me. It was there, that I found my smile again.

Ever since then, I kept going to church. I made some new friends, and they're seriously the best. Ron, Lauren, Alana, and Izzy. They're great! My family life is still weird, but I don't feel as angry anymore. I can't explain it, but I just feel at peace. I don't feel so alone like I used to, now that I know that God is with me. That still just blows my mind, and it makes me smile.

I know I am definitely not the sharpest Christian. I still have a lot to learn, and a few questions here and there. What I do know is that if I never knew about what Jesus did for me, I'd still be lost in the anger. I'm glad that He showed me the way out, and I have no doubt that He'll do the same for you. Don't be lost, seek Him while He may be found...because there will be a day when it will be too late.